Jesus Built My Sensible Fuel-Efficient Compact

Hail Mary, full of...

More here.

Featuring The Hit Single "Tarmac-ameleon"

Paved In Full: The Best Of The One-Man Ahmadinejad Band to be released soon:

He has provoked the west's fury with his calls for Israel's elimination, dismissal of the Holocaust as a "myth" and strident advocacy of Iran's nuclear rights.

Now Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the Iranian president, has ordered his fiery polemics to be saved for posterity in preparation for commercial publication.

He has appointed a 15-member advisory council of his closest aides to study his "works and opinions" and choose the most important. Selected items are likely to be issued as books, CDs and pamphlets.

[edit]

However, Rooz Online, an opposition website, suggested Mr Ahmadinejad's advisers would have a much thinner body of work to choose from.

The only known publication credited to the president - who has a PhD in traffic management - was a treatise about cold asphalt, it said.

I Win

Transmissions From The Silicon Tart.

If I May Be So Bald

Nickers

I laugh but I shouldn't:

Shoppers at Wal-Mart stores across America are loading carts with merchandise – maybe a flat-screen TV, a few DVDs and a six pack of beer – and strolling out without paying. Employees also are helping themselves to goods they haven't paid for.

The world's largest retailer is saying little about these kinds of thefts, but it's recent public disclosures that it is experiencing an increase in so-called shrinkage at its U.S. stores suggests that inventory losses due to shoplifting, employee theft, paperwork errors and supplier fraud could be worsening.

The hit is likely to rise to more than $3 billion this year...

* * * * * * * *

Citizens are asked to report any suspicious observed weight gain:

If you're a fan of Hershey's chocolates beware - there could be a bad batch contaminated with salmonella sitting on some store shelves without your knowledge. It all stems from a bizarre crime that Toronto Police alleged was committed by two men accused of carting off the tainted confections and re-selling them. It supposedly started last fall, when Hershey's originally recalled the candies after discovering the apparent contamination at its Smiths Falls plant.

They hired Turtle Island Recycling Depot on Cherry St. to get rid of them and several pallets of the goodies were destined for a truck on their way to a disposal. But cops allege the two men, one of whom was a Turtle Island employee, intercepted some of the treats and they may have been sold to retailers.

"I think this is a crime of opportunity," said Det. Sgt. John Babiar. "People have seen this chocolate that appears to be destined for destruction, but they were unaware of their risk."

"We estimate that there were approximately 40,000 bars." But only a few of those may have actually reached stores.

Hershey's has now been forced to recall the products in question as the hunt for the potentially dangerous candy continues.

"I suspect that they would have been resold at a very discounted rate to either individuals or diverted for their own personal use," Babiar adds.

* * * * * * * *

Cobourg police, masters of the bleedin' obvious:

The search for the missing beer from the Cobourg Corona heist leads to the streets of the Greater Toronto Area and the territory of organized crime.

Peel Regional and Cobourg police forces are now jointly investigating the theft, one of the largest in Cobourg history, but not as much as originally thought.

Both forces confirm the theft bears all the calling cards of organized crime.

Three tractor-trailers filled with cases of Corona were stolen Saturday afternoon from a Veronica Street parking lot, Cobourg Police said.

The lot, off Division Street south of Highway 401, is unguarded and often contains parked tractor-trailers, Const. Terry Stanley said.

Each trailer contained 1,300 24-bottle cases of the imported beer, Const. Stanley said.

All three rigs were discovered in an industrial area in Peel Region but the beer was gone, police said.

At about $40 per case the theft is worth around $156,000, police said.

The Beer Store sells a 24-bottle case of Corona for $44.35 which drives up the estimated value to around $172,965.

[edit]

Whoever stole the trucks would have had [the] buyers lined up beforehand, police said.

Hitch: Cocks; or, That's Funny, You Don't Look Mutilated

A brief Hitchfest '07 digression...

'The connection between religious barbarism and sexual repression could not be plainer than when it is "marked in the flesh." Who can count the number of lives that have been made miserable in this way, especially since Christian doctors began to adopt ancient Jewish folklore in their hospitals?" (Christopher Hitchens: God Is Not Great, p. 226)

Those of you who've read Mordecai Richler's paranoid '60s London satire Cocksure probably already know this, but the incidence of male circumcision in Canada in the mid-20th century, while difficult to say with accuracy, was clearly much higher than in the U.K.

Doesn't appear to have made the Brits any happier though (stats p. 37).

Higher standards?

Colonel Mustard, In The Nursery, With A Shoe

Professional jumper. Closed course.

Shee-it. Aren't there easier ways to prevent hernia?

More on s-pan y'all.

Melty Week

Too bleedin' hot.

That's right: I'm reduced to posting about the weather.

And food. Tasty 'n' easy summer veggie dish for 2. Can't remember where it's from. Goes well warm with white basmati rice, but you can do it as a cold salad too:

Creamy Puy Lentils w/Lemon Dressing

1/2 cup Puy lentils
1 garlic clove
1 smallish tomater
4-6 black olives (optional, IMNSHO)
1 tbsp butter
1/2 lemon
2 tsp chopped fresh tarragon
1/2 tsp grainy mustard
1-2 tbsp creme fraiche
salt and pepper
chopped flat-leaf parsley, tarragon sprigs and lemon wedges to garnish

1. Boil lentils in saucepan for about 20-25 minutes, or until tender.
2. In the meantime, prepare the veg and make the dressing. Chop the garlic, halve and pit the olives, finely chop and seed the tomato.
3. While the lentils are cooking, heat the butter in a skillet at medium heat. Add garlic; saute, while occasionally stirring, until it begins to brown. Grate in lemon rind, and stir in the juice. Add tarragon and mustard, and cook for 1/2 to 1 minute, stirring constantly. Stir in creme fraiche, salt and pepper. Bring to a boil, then stir in the (drained) lentils, tomato and olives.
4. Transfer and garnish with the tarragon, parsley and lemon.

If you can't be bothered to make or don't want to buy creme fraiche, works perfectly well with 2-3 tbsp full-fat yogourt.

If you live in some hick backwater and can't get puy lentils, then either a) use brown, and make sure to reduce your cooking time so's they don't turn to mush, or b) drink yourself into a depressive stupor.

Tie Die

Don't forget to cast your vote in the Globe and Mail's "Most Stylish Canadian" competition. "Wittiest Fraser Institute Fellow" is next week.

My vote's with Winnipeg youngster Jordan Crosthwaite:

Everything popular is wrong. Or so claimed Oscar Wilde. Indeed, the overwhelming misfortune of the bow tie is its lack of popularity, but it sure looks great. Because the bow-tie is uncommon, its infrequent appearance emphasizes stylish sophistication. Like a rare specimen of ornithological interest, a well-dressed man can be as enticing as the elusive trumpeter swan. My style emerges from my eye for the unique individual item of dress and accessory and the way that these elements constellate into a coherent look. I aspire to be dapper. I find inspiration in turn of the century men's dress - I try to bring a nostalgic item of style into a more modern appeal. To me, great style bridges convention and the unexpected - a bow-tie paired with a classic hoodie, a sailor stripped tee under a Winnipeg parka. Style eschews popularity; Oscar Wilde might not have been right, but he sure looked good.

mp3: XTC--"Helicopter" (from Drums and Wires)