Tuesday, March 20, 2007

When You Care Enough To Send The Very Tasteless

I'd like to find a birthday card that is NOT about:

  • Aging
  • Farts
  • Golf
  • Obese women sitting on Chihuahuas
  • Sex
  • Limp dicks/Saggy tits (arguably, this is a sub-genre of sex jokes)

Is it really so much to ask--a birthday card that's not tasteless? You wouldn't think it would be difficult to find, but increasingly, it is. It would be nice if the card were witty too. Hell, even a corny pun would suffice.

Furthermore, I don't want to have to fall back on Hallmark-type "you're a special person" cards, complete with blurry photographs of ponds and copperplate script. The other option is blank art cards, which means I have to write the message myself. These will do in a pinch, except it's hard to think of anything creative to say, so the card usually reads: "Ted, Happy Birthday." (Even when it's not for Ted.)


Robert G. said...

You could go to Flatiron's, and get gay versions of all of the above.

The blank art card? Might as well make your own ferchrissakes. Here's that old bag by Augustus John--Happy Birthday kid!

Will said...

Get the youngun to make one.

all cutesy like.